Or perhaps we should just refer to it as dating.

First of all, dating doesn’t necessarily include physical intimacy. In this article, we will be using the term to refer to the getting-to-know each other phase before the relationship kicks off…or ends. We’ll explore useful tips on how to conduct oneself around a potential new partner especially on the first date. I’ll just highlight the stuff I think is really important in bullet points. Remember, I’m no relationship expert but as a mature woman who was single a while before being married, I think sharing tips based on what worked or failed might be useful to others.

  1. Think safety. Its VERY important. “There is no art to read the mind’s construction from the face” is a well-known saying which points to our inability to read a person’s character just by their physical appearance. With this in mind please make sure you have these items on your person: phone (with credit in it please!), cash (in case you eat more than your date can afford or you just need to leave suddenly or…well, any other reason).
  2. Look good, smell good, but wear something comfortable and not too revealing. You don’t want to give this person the impression that you are all about sex. Or maybe you do but for the first date, if you want something that might stand the test of time you want the man to be truly attentive not staring at your boobs the whole time.
  3. Wear something that suits the weather. If it’s cold a sweater or shawl makes sense. If it’s quite hot a spaghetti strap would suffice.
  4. Make sure at least one person knows EXACTLY where you are going and who you will be hanging out with. Let them know when you get there and when you hope to leave.
  5. Go alone. Please.
  6. If hanging out at an eatery please buy what you would ordinarily be able to afford. Order what you ordinarily enjoy eating. Don’t choose this date to get adventurous with food because “mugu”. He asked you on a date to get to know you better. He is not your enemy.
  7. Be as much yourself as possible and if you happen to be enjoying his company, show it.
  8. Ask questions. Listen attentively to his answers. ENGAGE. Answer questions honestly. Don’t claim to love football because he told you he is a Man U fan.
  9. If you truly enjoyed his company, a hug or peck might not be out of place at the end of the date. If you didn’t enjoy it that much don’t feel compelled to give in to any physicality.
  10. Above everything else, RELAX. Hopefully he is just a guy hoping to get to know you better.

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